“Yes ma’am, your food is ready. We are just waiting for the government’s go-ahead before we can serve it to you.”
“No, I’m not volunteering my time, being CEO of this company is actually my full-time job.”
“I do have plans to conduct three more surgeries next financial year, but it depends on if our funding actually comes through.”
Related article: Sh*t nonprofits say
“We thought it would be best to upload our military defence positions on our website so that other countries can also learn and benefit from them.”
“I’m currently working on a scale strategy so that I’m not only teaching kindergarten, but also postgraduates.”
“I’m sorry, but you really can’t take pictures of my massage clients for your blog.”
“This year, our annual report talks about improvements in haemoglobin levels of all the people we have given haircuts to.”
“No, I don’t know your aunt’s friend’s nephew, even if he is also an accountant.”
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This article was inspired by a similar one on McSweeny’s.